Brrrr... Winter

This is what is happening outside my window right now. I can hear the rush of the wind and even feel the draft it's creating as it permeates through even the thickest of brick.

Tonight is a night to stay inside and enjoy the warmth of home, yet I ventured out for some good conversation, yummy cupcakes and tea with two good friends. You know, the kind that give you the advice you need. The ones that love you no matter how far you take things sometimes. And, of course, the ones with some really great stories. It's time like these that I realize that even the coldest of nights can leave you feeling warm and cozy inside.

What to Do - What to Do...

It’s been a while – and while I always start these things with the best intentions, life seems to interfere. I realized this morning that the only thing I’ve started and finished in life is keeping a toe ring on my left foot for almost ten years – and I don’t know if that was a good decision or one that will come back to haunt me with a foot issue one day.

I’ve also taken on a freelance job. It’s something really simple and easy – but more time consuming that I originally thought it would be. It’s also not as creative as I hoped, but for now, it’s extra money. And that money, my friends, is MUCH needed right now. You would think a salaried position in the third biggest city in the country would be well enough to pay for all that I would like out of my life right now, but sadly, that’s not the case.

I’m contemplating signing up for a triathlon as well – I’ve never in my life been the athletic type, but I think it might just give me the push to work towards a goal and possibly get in the best shape of my life. What I need to decide now is whether I think I can accomplish this and if I want to put forth the effort in training over the next 5 months. I have one week left to figure it all out.

And speaking of figuring things out, I think I can safely say that I am deep into my quarterlife crisis. How perfect is that at the age of 25? I’m reading a book about it right now – not knowing if it’s helping or just reaffirming the fact that I don’t know what the hell I am doing – where is the sign that will lead me to what I am destined for?

Losing the Faith

I'm beginning to lose faith in love - in the possibility of it, in the chance that it might happen to me and in the whole concept itself.

Too many people close to me have been hurt by what we often seek as our ultimate completion. I sympathize, empathize and feel for every broken heart out there. And while I wouldn't say mine is broken, right now, it surely has a bruise.

So what's the verdict then? I guess I've learned my lesson about chasing after the emotionally unavailable kind, and am going to seek solace in myself and good friends before attempting to grasp it again - that little silent killer - and ever elusive thing we call love.