Happy Holidays

Life since May has been crazy - too crazy to think much about anything besides work, outings with friends and time spent with family, let alone allowing for time to reflect on any of it here. But now, as the holidays ramp up and the year comes to a close, there's a little time to think back on 2008 and what it held for me.

There was the bad and the good, the ups and the downs and the happy and the sad. But I've been very blessed with amazing friends who support me everyday and parents that not only guide me, but are also my friends and confidants. And, the joys of my life, the two adorable puppies that greet me everytime I walk through the door to visit.

I've taken a nice vacation, gotten promoted to a position I actually like, enjoyed many a concert, indulged in the summer fun and more. I've made memories with people that I'll never forget and done things I've never done. Oddly, this reflection is uncharacteristically optimistic, but despite the year's disappointments, I'm a pretty lucky girl and hope that 2009 brings even better things!

Happy Holidays to all - spend time with family, friends, that significant other if you have one and drink up these last few weeks of 2008.

Cheers!

Springing into Life

There have been many a realization over the last few months. As the weather has warmed (slowly albeit typical), I have also warmed up to me - figuring out who I am in the grand scheme and looking to the next few months with optimism.

I've finally figured out the direction in which I should take my career. Through an interview process for a job within my current company, I actually found that there is a happy medium between where I am now and what that intensive research-laden job would have been. I found that I really do like working for the client, and making them happy in the end is who I am trying to impress, not some person who's assigned to be my supervisor. I've found that the writing and 'the meat' of such projects are what I really love doing, and that I can make a career for myself out of focusing in on those areas, of which I both enjoy and excel in. So, I've taken the first steps in trying to make this a reality. It's not something that will happen tomorrow or even 2 months from now, but it will happen and I will persevere and use my resources to get myself to that place where I am content and not constantly looking for the NEXT better job.

And, things within my personal life changed a little as well. I spent the winter getting to know myself a bit more and recognize where my faults are in my pursuit of finding that relationship with the right person. In fact, I avoided many chances to even try and find that someone again. Whether it's out of fear, general boredom or old feelings I can't quite let go of, I've still yet to dissect. And given the events of this weekend, I think that I might have to get to that sooner or later to also avoid ending up right where I started.

Brrrr... Winter

This is what is happening outside my window right now. I can hear the rush of the wind and even feel the draft it's creating as it permeates through even the thickest of brick.

Tonight is a night to stay inside and enjoy the warmth of home, yet I ventured out for some good conversation, yummy cupcakes and tea with two good friends. You know, the kind that give you the advice you need. The ones that love you no matter how far you take things sometimes. And, of course, the ones with some really great stories. It's time like these that I realize that even the coldest of nights can leave you feeling warm and cozy inside.

What to Do - What to Do...

It’s been a while – and while I always start these things with the best intentions, life seems to interfere. I realized this morning that the only thing I’ve started and finished in life is keeping a toe ring on my left foot for almost ten years – and I don’t know if that was a good decision or one that will come back to haunt me with a foot issue one day.

I’ve also taken on a freelance job. It’s something really simple and easy – but more time consuming that I originally thought it would be. It’s also not as creative as I hoped, but for now, it’s extra money. And that money, my friends, is MUCH needed right now. You would think a salaried position in the third biggest city in the country would be well enough to pay for all that I would like out of my life right now, but sadly, that’s not the case.

I’m contemplating signing up for a triathlon as well – I’ve never in my life been the athletic type, but I think it might just give me the push to work towards a goal and possibly get in the best shape of my life. What I need to decide now is whether I think I can accomplish this and if I want to put forth the effort in training over the next 5 months. I have one week left to figure it all out.

And speaking of figuring things out, I think I can safely say that I am deep into my quarterlife crisis. How perfect is that at the age of 25? I’m reading a book about it right now – not knowing if it’s helping or just reaffirming the fact that I don’t know what the hell I am doing – where is the sign that will lead me to what I am destined for?

Losing the Faith

I'm beginning to lose faith in love - in the possibility of it, in the chance that it might happen to me and in the whole concept itself.

Too many people close to me have been hurt by what we often seek as our ultimate completion. I sympathize, empathize and feel for every broken heart out there. And while I wouldn't say mine is broken, right now, it surely has a bruise.

So what's the verdict then? I guess I've learned my lesson about chasing after the emotionally unavailable kind, and am going to seek solace in myself and good friends before attempting to grasp it again - that little silent killer - and ever elusive thing we call love.